So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
handjob tips. give me some.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
