I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Randomize
