just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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