I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
