It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
