After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
