Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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