Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
