WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
