On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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