Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
