i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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