i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
