When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I'm really busy with my period
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