There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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