Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
