yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize