Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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