U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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