I faked an abortion last night.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
