I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
