is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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