somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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