Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize