i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
