Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Randomize
