I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
