so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
