My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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