So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
