Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
