He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Randomize
