You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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