did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
