I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
