We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize