Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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