I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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