I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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