they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
