If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
