I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
50% drunk capacity currently
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
