He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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