is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
i think my cat just said my name.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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