i permit you to call me
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize