I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
as a side note pls kill me
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
