More tranny stories later!
I love black thongs
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
