Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
