At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
