So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Even my vagina gasped.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
