One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
