I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
