I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Randomize