I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
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