it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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