im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
