Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize