Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
