Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
