why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
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