Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
