And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
