I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
