is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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