Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
