Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He felt like a one man threesome
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
