also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
