There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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