Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
