He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
