just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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