After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
