I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
She just used a chaser for red wine.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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