Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
