The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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