Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
