So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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