I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
