ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
